You’re standing at one of the hardest crossroads a relationship can face. Infidelity shakes the very foundation of trust. Yet, here you are—seeking to recover together. That takes courage.

My approach to working with couples recovering from infidelity is deeply influenced by the teachings of Esther Perel, renowned relationship expert and author of The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Perel’s insights into the complexities of desire, trust, and the dynamics that fuel infidelity have shaped how I guide couples through this challenging process. My program for infidelity recovery is unique as it includes this powerful framework from Perel combined with Internal Family Systems and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

Couples who are ready for this work

  • If both of you are ready to face the truth and engage in honest, open conversations and

  • are willing to explore the deeper reasons behind the affair and work to rebuild trust and

  • are committed to understanding each other’s needs, boundaries, and the path forward—whether it’s reconciliation or separation.

Couples who are not ready for this work

  • If you’re seeking a place to assign blame rather than focus on recovery and growth, this process may not be the right fit.

  • If the affair is still ongoing and there hasn’t been a commitment to end it, meaningful recovery work cannot begin. Transparency and accountability are non-negotiable for healing.

To the Betrayed Partner:

Your pain is valid, and recovery begins with creating a safe space to express and process your emotions. This is not about rushing to forgive but about making sense of what happened and reclaiming your voice in the healing process.

To the Partner Who Had the Affair

True recovery requires accountability and ending the affair completely. As Perel emphasizes, “Affairs are often less about the person we betray and more about the person we’ve become.” Facing this truth and committing to change are crucial first steps.

How I Help Couples Recover

  • Understanding the Affair: Exploring its meaning, not to excuse it, but to uncover unmet needs and relational patterns.

  • Rebuilding Trust: Creating transparency, setting boundaries, and nurturing emotional safety for both partners.

  • Fostering Growth: Using this crisis as a turning point to strengthen your connection and redefine your partnership.

As Esther Perel says, “Your first marriage is over. Would you like to create a second one together?”

Infidelity doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship—it can be the beginning of a new chapter, one built on deeper understanding and mutual respect.

If you’re both ready to face this challenge together, I’m here to help. Let’s take the first step toward recovery.